Of Love and Lust
by Emotional Intelligence
Summary: He saw her tears, she saw his pain. They wanted to be understood. When a chance falls on their shoulders will they take the fall, and seek comfort in each other? Horatio/ Megan Spoiler for season 1! R&R PLEASE and I will love you for ever and ever!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one

Chapter one

Horatio watched as Megan left the church and walked briskly towards her car. He saw diamond tear drops running down her flushed cheeks. Knowingly he stayed back; she didn't want him to see her so broken once again.

It had been over two months since her husband Sean had died. Horatio knew him to be a good man, caring and loving and very appreciative of his wife. It was in remembrance of him that she shed those tears, and in a moment of thought, he felt guilty for bringing her to his friend's funeral. She after all didn't even know Al, she only came because he asked her, and he felt completely responsible for her pain. He knew what she must be going through right now, replaying her husband's death in her head and seeing the funeral all over again.

'No one should go through that twice, no one. 'He thought 'at least not on their own.'

Horatio knew that the last thing she wanted right know was for him to see her in her weakened state. Yet watching the beautiful brown eyes fill with so much sadness made him feel worse then he already was. He himself had a hard time keeping his eyes dry when he watched the remains of his dear friend and mentor being carried out in a closed casket to the cemetery. He watched the burial, but then couldn't contain himself anymore and left with a brief explanation to Al's wife Felicia of a sudden duty call.

He felt his eyes go moist as he once again thought of Al as his old time friend, the man who taught him so much. He was gone now, gone just like his brother. Gone because of some crazy, murderous man, who wanted to bring justice to the eyes of the world on the bodies of innocent victims. They all were like that, he knew it well. All the killers had a reason for their crime. But sometimes the reason just wasn't enough.

He watched as Megan beeped the lock and got in the car. He knew he shouldn't let her go, not in her state. In her state she needed comfort, she needed someone there to watch out for her and catch her if she fell. Horatio couldn't admit to himself, but inside he knew it was what he needed as well. He walked quickly to her car, catching up just in time to catch the shutting door.

"Megan," he said unsure as to what else to say.

"Yes?" she asked, he watched her eyes resting firmly on the steering wheel. She didn't want to look at him.

"Um, I was just wondering, how you were holding up?" he asked her uncertainly, sure that she would start the car at any moment and drive away.

Megan finally had the strength to look at him. What she saw there, was pure pain, hurt, anger and out right misery, buried deep in a crystal blue depth of his eyes. She knew right then, that she not alone, not the only one who was going through this hell. This man so prone to hiding his emotions behind dark shades was openly in pain. Megan watched as a single tear rolled down his cheek, before she could stop herself, she reached out and brushed it away with the tips of her fingers. The touch bought a shock from within her heart to rise to her chest, her breath caught as she felt the undoubtful chemistry flow between them.

"I'm going home Horatio, but I don't wish to go alone, do you think you can join me for dinner tonight?" she asked, hope spilling from her every word.

Horatio gave her a gentle smile.

"I would love to."

Megan could not help but return the smile, she watched as his face cleared if just a bit and there was radiance once again in those deep blue pools.

"My place, in an hour." She stated before shutting the door and rolling the window down.

She started her car and within a moment she was gone.

Horatio watched her disappear in the distance.

"I'll be there." he whispered into the wind, before slipping on his shades.

Quietly he walked back to his hummer and drove off to his place.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

**Chapter two**

It's been exactly an hour, when the bell outside Megan's condo gave a loud 'ding'. She had just finished preparing dinner and was still wearing her apron, but unwilling to keep her guest waiting she dashed off anyways.

She quickly unlocked the door and saw Horatio standing on her front porch, smiling sweetly. He looked great in his casual looking leather jacket with a white shirt, and black jeans. She could still see the pain in his eyes, yet somehow it didn't make the smile any less attractive. Realizing that she had spent a good minute looking at her guest, Megan stepped back with a light embarrassed flush rising in her cheeks.

"Sorry Horatio, please come in. I'm just going to pop up stairs for a second. Get changed. I'll be down in a minute."

She raced upstairs and from the top screamed out to him.

"Oh and can you watch the dinner please?"

"Sure "he replied. Horatio heard a door being slammed shut and he was left in silence.

It was not the first time that Horatio has been at Magen's place. He was here for Sean's funeral and before that at their Christmas party. Knowingly he walked to the kitchen and looked into the oven. The warm air that flew out smelled of the most delicious spices and herbs. It made Horatio's mouth water, just from the sent of the food. He closed the oven, classifying the dinner to be in more then fine state.

'Megan sure knows her way in the kitchen.' He thought

Horatio walked around the kitchen bar area and in to the living room. It was then that he had an idea. He hadn't been in house for some time, but having a fantastic memory, he clearly remembered the stereo system, standing in the far corner of the living room. He made his way to the CD rack next to the player and picked out a classical music CD. Today was all about healing old wounds and making new bonds and nothing would stick better then some classical music in the background. He placed the CD in and pressed play. A soft relaxing "tune-full" song started playing. Satisfied Horatio, walked back to the hall, taking his jacket off and placing it on the coat rack in the front. Just as he was turning around to go and check on dinner for the second time he heard soft clicks of high heeled shoes descending down the stairs. Looking up, he froze.

Megan was beautiful in her usual work attire of pants and a singlet. But now, now she could only be described as stunning. She radiated beauty, unlike any women he had ever seen before. As she carefully made her way downstairs, he couldn't help but look at how perfectly the sky blue strapless dress hugged her curves making her body glitter and move with every step. He watched how her locks of auburn hair bounced slightly as she shook her head. Yet nothing on her was as charming as her smile, the smile that instantly warmed his heart.

"What do you find so interesting on me Lieutenant?" she said teasingly. A smile playing on the corners of her mouth.

"Everything" he said, unable to keep a note of open seduction from his voice.

Megan blushed slightly; Horatio noticed her discomfort and instantly cleared his throat. He offered his hand in a formal manner and said

"May I? "

"But of course." Megan said as she placed her hand gently on his and once again felt her chest heavy with new emotions.

Dinner passed in modest silence as the too ate their food, occasionally stealing glances at each other. When they were done, Horatio helped Megan pack the dishwasher and make some tea.

Horatio's hand brushed Magen's as he reached for the tea bags. There, he felt it again the rising feeling of deep emotion which he couldn't identify. Was it joy, satisfaction, happiness? He just didn't know what it was that he felt towards Megan, apart from deep attraction. He was no fool to know that his attraction towards her would not be returned. After all, she had recently lost her husband. It was still fresh in her mind. He was not the type of man to use a broken woman to satisfy his own means, those were the men he sent behind bars.

"Horatio, would you join me in the living room?" came Megan's questioning voice. He hadn't realised that he had been standing for a good five minute stirring his tea, not noticing that the person about who he was so deeply in thought had already made her way to the living room. Horatio followed her in and sat down on the couch next to her, carefully avoiding being to close.

Megan felt him tense up, and knew instinctively something was wrong.

"Horatio?"

"Yeah."

"Are you ok "she asked.

"Of course, why do you ask?"

"It's just the whole evening you stayed so close to me and now all of a sudden you shield away from me like a wounded animal from a hunter. Can you tell me what's wrong?"

'I wish I could' he thought as he took another sip of his tea. He watched her eyes scanning his face for any give away to his thoughts, but Horatio hadn't spent ten year as a CSI to not know how to keep his face blank of expression. He waited for her to lower her gaze before speaking.

"I'm having nightmares since Al's death; they haunted me before when Raymond got shot. I thought that when they left me three month after his death, they would never return. But they did and now I'm; now I'm confused. I don't know how to stop them, and it's starting to affect me at work." Horatio bowed his head low resting his hands on his knees." I just don't know." He whispered.

Megan watched him intensely; she felt the strange need to embrace the man. With all his walls and berries down and his shades missing, she saw the face of a truly confused man. It was a face she had never seen on Horatio before. Slowly sliding to sit closer to him, Megan softly wrapped her arms around his neck. As soon as she did so she felt that emotion again, but now she new what it was. The same feeling she felt when she stood at the alter with Sean, the same feeling that haunted her everyday he stood by her. It was the same feeling that she had long since forgot.

Love

It was love, love for the man she held so tightly in her arms, Horatio Cain. The feeling came so naturally to her and deep inside she new that she had loved him since she first met him, even before Sean's death. Guilt washed over her as she thought about her faithful husband. If only he knew he wasn't the only man she loved.

Horatio pulled away from Megan and looked at her. She was crying, but he didn't think she noticed yet. Gently he wiped her tears away, making her jump as she pulled away from her trail of thoughts.

"I think I better go, you look tired and you need a rest." Horatio got up and made his way to the door, grabbing his jacket on the way.

"Wait "

Horatio turned in the doorway, and watched as Megan ran up to him and grabbed his arm. Their eyes met and at that moment both new that they needed each other, they needed to feel alive.

Megan could see uncertainty in his eyes and decided to make the first move. She grabbed the red head around the neck and crushed their lips together in a soft, gentle kiss. Horatio responded immediately, seeking entrance into her mouth. The kiss went on for hours, or maybe minutes or maybe days, time didn't seem to exist in this world that they had created for themselves. It was just feelings and passionate lust. Horatio didn't quite remember how they got upstairs and into Megan's room, but it didn't matter, their lips were connected all the time and that's all he knew.

Megan let her hands run down his back and rest on his belt. She skilfully withdrew the tucked in shirt and ran her hands up his bare chest, scraping her nails lightly over the heated flesh. Horatio moaned at the gentle touch and felt himself grow hard as he shivered with anticipation. He grabbed her dress and slowly pulled it down her body until in fell to the floor. As beautiful as she was in the dress she was even more fascinating without it. Horatio took a moment to just take in her graceful figure, her every curve and dip. She, in the meantime, managed to undo the buckle on his belt and was pulling down the zipper of his pants when he looked up. He saw his lust reflect in her eyes and knew he had to have her.

Horatio grabbed Megan around the waist and legs and carried her bridal style to the bed where he gently placed her on the silk covers before silently getting on top of her. Megan arched her back as Horatio skilfully kissed down her body, biting her collar bone before tracing his tongue over her stomach into her belly button and then all the way back up again. By the time Horatio came back to give her another passionate kiss, Megan was on the edge of bliss. She roughly grabbed him around the back and with incredible strength flipped them over in one go. Horatio, a bit taken aback by such strength, didn't react for the several minutes as Megan removed her bra and taking Horatio's hands, placed them on her waist.

"What do you feel." she asked. Her eyes half lidded as she felt Horatio through the skimp material of his jocks.

"Lust "he whispered in total submission

Megan smiled at him and allowed his hands to run down to the waistband of her underwear as she slid down and pulled of his own. Horatio felt Megan's tightness as she slid on to him. He knew instantly that over the past 6 month she stayed faithful to her diseased husband. Horatio shifted slightly to allow Megan time to settle; when she did, he felt her move against him. Slow at first, her movement becoming faster and rougher, she swung her hips, sinking herself deeper into the man she loved. Horatio saw her passionate gaze never leaving his face as they made love. He watched her starting to cry, at first just one tear, but as her movement became faster so did the tears. He wanted to reach out and wipe away the tears from her face, but Megan had a strong hold on his wrists, pinning them to the bed. All he could do was watch her face split between pain and bliss.

Megan knew that she was crying, these were tears of joy and pain, of happiness and sorrow, of loss and gain. She wanted to let them run, run out of her body and out of her mind. Megan saw Horatio's face cover with need to erase her tears, but she wanted it to go and so she held tightly to his arms and continued her drastic movement until she felt Horatio twitch inside her. He was getting close. Smiling to herself, Megan pushed harder, clumping down on him as he came into her with the most erotic moan she had ever heard. This moan pushed her over the edge; she never knew anyone who appreciated her as much as Horatio. That much was heard in his voice as he gave himself completely to her will. Feeling the energy leave with their orgasms, the pair collapsed. Horatio, having just enough energy to flip them over, wrapped his arms protectively around Megan's waist before sleep overtook him. Megan on the other hand lay weary, but awake. She thought about her life with Sean, the way he used to come before her, sometimes leaving her unsatisfied. He never truly tried to give himself to her. That was the true difference between him and Horatio. With Horatio she didn't have to fake her pleasure, she could express herself to him. Megan shifted a little closer into his arms as the last thought of the night ran through her mind.

'For the first time I'm truly happy. '


End file.
